451 days ago I was perched on my doorstep eagerly awaiting my girlfriend to arrive, she had gone to pick up the cigarettes and I was ready to smoke at least two in very close succession. I’m not ashamed to admit I was a chain-smoking alcoholic who regrettably dated girls for their willingness to aid and abet me in my demise. So, as I finished off the last drop of wine and put out my last cigarette something in me just broke. I looked through my double vision at the girl who loved me and I didn’t love back, surrounded by the remnants of another binge fest, and thought, this is it. I’m done. And that was it, I was done. Let me take you back to the days leading up to that moment. I was losing everything, my car was being repossessed, and my house was about to go into pre-foreclosure. I had lost 30 pounds in the course of a year and although the world thought I looked great, my lymph nodes were so swollen the doctor scheduled me for a biopsy, we daren’t utter the word Cancer but we all thought it.I wasn’t at my lowest, there was no low. There was no rock bottom, it was way worse than that. There was just nothing. Some years before this I had been introduced to the law of attraction by a friend and soon I was hooked. I had learned that just by changing my thought processes and the words I spoke I could do amazing things like increasing my income basically overnight. I was winning competition after competition, and random checks from companies I hadn’t used in years appeared in my mailbox. I was obsessed. Soon my mornings and evenings were filled with journaling my best life and spending my quiet moments envisioning how my future would look and feel. When it comes to manifesting, you will find a million people who claim to have the ‘secret’ behind its power. Just a quick google search and you can learn all you need to know in the first three results, try it. It doesn’t matter who you follow or what method you use, the law of attraction remains the same. You get back what you put out. However, heed this warning. Be careful what you ask for. A few months into my winning streak, pregnant with my fourth daughter, cracks in my marriage started to show. I remember the desperation I felt and knew that manifesting had given me so much that I trusted it could save my marriage. For weeks I would write line after line about my happy marriage and our great life together. Once or twice Id even try to dream with him about how our future would look but I was met with disinterest and soon just full-on opposition. He didn’t want what I wanted and our dreams were no longer shared. Our marriage ended. I lost faith in manifesting and myself. Then, a few months after my daughter was born, I began to die. For about a year I would progressively drink more and work less, date recklessly, and sink further and further into depression. My focus was no longer on the positive even in the darkest moments, my focus was on everything I didn’t have. I would lay awake at night worried about my future and the universe responded by sending me more and more of the things I was trying to survive from. If your mantra in life is “ Shit Happens”. Guess what, shit is going to happen. Remember, you get back what you put out. So 451 days ago, very drunk but very determined, for the first time in a long time, I wrote out my perfect life in my journal, I didn’t focus on how bad things were but on how great things were going to get and I felt it, I felt it in my very core. That night I fell asleep with my pen still in my hand, my face wet with happy tears. I had just brought myself back to life The next day I woke up, said goodbye to the girl I was dating, and immediately declared myself sober. I didn’t want the universe to have to figure out how serious I was by asking for the strength to get sober. I needed, I wanted, I desired to be sober there in that moment and in the 450 days since that morning, I have woken up every morning, just that, sober. 30 days later I repeated my declaration with cigarettes. I haven’t touched one since, not even a vape. I just spoke it into existence and so it was, but was it the words that magically made me abstinent from the things that were killing me? Is manifestation just a bunch of woo-woo words that only work for witches and wizards? Listen, the words don’t matter. Truly. It’s the feeling behind them, the vibration in the intention. Remember back when I was winning all those competitions and tried to save my marriage using the same techniques? I really did manifest my perfect life back then you know, my perfect marriage. It just wasn’t with him. When I decided I was sober I scripted out my life on pages and pages of a brand new notebook. Crying as each word formed on the page, I was elated and excited for my freedom that some pages looked more like scribbles than real words because of the speed I was releasing them from my mind. In order to have the world, you have to believe it is already yours and feel it as such. When I thought My marriage was ending you best believe I hyper-focused on what I wanted and deserved. I imagined the big house with the view. The big kitchen where I could make romantic meals, the feel of the fresh clean sheets on our bed that sit under huge windows that the moon hangs over. How we would travel and do things as a family and he would love me loyally and unconditionally. I would forgive you for being confused as I now tell you that he infact cheated and you remember that from just a couple of paragraphs ago that my life fell apart, but when I finally let go and trusted the universe again to give me what I asked for. I met the love of my life, 40 days after I quit drinking. We just bought a house together, with a big kitchen where I make her romantic meals and a bedroom that houses the moon through oversized windows. The universe gave me my perfect life, he just wasn’t a part of it. I coach many people to release this feeling, to connect with their inner core to make it vibrate so much you will feel giddy from the release of emotion. I can help you make the journey to sobriety one of excitement and joy where even the hardest moments become those of peace. Manifesting is not just about getting the perfect house or finding your soul mate. It is about using your body as a catalyst to communicate to the universe that you are ready to receive all the abundance that you deserve. If you want to receive a free discovery session you can find me on Instagram under @thesobermanifestor or find my website at www.thesobermanifestor.com
How I manifested my Sobriety
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